I recently came across a meme on Instagram about the existence of a girls-only
Facebook group, dedicated to warning other girls about “pricks” in their area and
It appeared as though someone had finally realised that we needed a review system
in place for human beings, especially in the world of online dating where you have
no way of knowing for sure, whether someone checks out or not.
And it kind of makes sense…
As my sister pointed out recently, she won’t book a holiday or watch a movie
anymore without checking the ratings. Hell, I won’t even buy a kettle without
reading the reviews.
So why are we expected to go in blind when it comes to something as important as
online dating and choosing a life partner?
Sure, we can get to know them slowly and ask all the right questions to figure out if
they are who they say they are, but this takes time and effort. And as anyone who has
been stung by online dating before knows; if someone wants to lie and hide who they
really are, they will.
Intrigued…I joined the group to see what really went down.
At first glance it seemed to be a support network for girls who had been hurt by their
exes, or for girls who needed current relationship advice.
Then there were posts about exes that girls thought others should steer clear of
because of how badly they’d been treated. And although yes, you could see some were
just having a good old vent; other posts were much more serious. One group member
even begged other girls not to date her own brother, because he’d beaten and raped
so many of his ex-girlfriends.
However, one of the biggest benefits of the group in my opinion, is that people are
able to post pictures of men they’re talking to online, and if anyone else recognises
them or knows anything about them, they comment on said post.
The people posting these are mostly concerned with whether the man is already in a
relationship, or married. It’s a way of identifying whether they really are talking to
someone that’s single.
And surprisingly, I guess because of the influence of online dating and social media
in our day to day lives, people do recognise them.
They’ll comment and offer their own experiences in dealing with that person.
Some will have also chatted to them online and have nothing negative to report.
Others may be friends with, or have gone to school with them, and are able to
confirm that the person in question is who he says he is.
Some of the more experienced members even launch their own Catfish-show style
investigations to help those a bit newer to the game, realise who they’re actually
talking to – and help uncover a web of lies.
And it’s all very much appreciated – by a group of women who at the end of the day,
just want to be in a genuine relationship with a decent guy, free of lies and cheating.
However, with anything like this there are bound to be a whole lot of downsides and
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned right? So, is it even wise to take on board
what some of the women are saying whilst they’re suffering emotionally,
heartbroken, and tired of being messed around?
Is it really a sound representation of who that man actually is day in day out?
Some could even fabricate a whole story about an ex just for revenge, or to hurt their
chances of ever finding love again.
Then there’s the danger of the man finding out that you’re warning others about
him. Although the group is private, and admin have put rules in place regarding the
sharing of posts outside of the group; this is the internet. There’s nothing to stop
people taking screenshots and potentially landing you in trouble with whoever
you’re trying to warn people about.
So, caution is definitely needed with something like this.
But I still think they’re onto something…
Just imagine if as Muslims, who in this day and age can no longer rely on
introductions from friends and family when it comes to finding a life partner; had a
helpful resource that gave us some sort of a heads up about whoever we’re talking to
on any of the popular Muslim dating apps.
Forget the venting and emotional breakdowns – and no backbiting or slander
allowed. It’s just a balanced and honest review of your experience with them.
So that just like with Trip Advisor, we’re no longer going in completely blind and at
least have something to go on.
And if someone is already married or in a relationship – you’d know this from the get
It would take the place of what typically happens if you meet someone offline from
your local area. There’s bound to be someone you know personally that
knows something about him, and you’d have a better idea of what you’re potentially
getting yourself into.
We just want an online version of that please – and operated by a third party, so that
the review doesn’t disappear when their online dating profile does 😉
The idea may be flawed, and I may be dreaming, but with some proper thought
behind it I think something like this could work.
Lord knows it’s needed.