Most of you will be familiar with my rants every now and then, be it in vlogs, instagram captions or a little write up, and now I’m about to embark on another little bit of controversy regarding men, right here on this page. BTW I only say ‘controversy’ because people seem to get very sensitive when you call men out, particularly Muslim men but that’s a whole other post in itself. I do understand that my work means being exposed to a massive amount of people that most are not used to as part of their daily life and of course naturally I will come across absurd comments, opinions and just strange things in general. I get that people have a sense of entitlement to comment on my personal choices, more specifically my own personal ‘religiosity’ and pretty much anything that I am well aware I have shared online. Usually with the reasoning that I am a blogger and am therefore ‘asking for it’ or ‘if you can’t handle criticism then don’t put yourself out there.’ Basically just expecting me to accept disgusting behaviour and tolerate hate that in no other work place would anyone be expected to condone. TBH it actually doesn’t affect me at all when I do receive terribly strange comments or abuse online, I’ve grown way past that and thankfully the positive outweighs the bad immensely.. so obvs that helps.
What does grind my gears is where opinions on the way I dress can sometimes come from. For some baffling reason, a lot of the time it just so happens to come from Muslim MEN. Why? Simply why? Why do a HUGE amount of Muslim men have this sense of entitlement to share their opinion on how a woman, who bear in mind has NOTHING to do with them, dresses. Let alone females related to them? I seriously don’t understand the logic. Actually never mind the logic, how about the utter disrespect not just to the strange women that never once asked for this irrelevant mans opinion on her hijab or ‘lack of it.’ But the disrespect towards the women in their lives? Some of these guys are married, with kids. You’d think with all the responsibilities that Muslim men have when they have their OWN family that they simply would not have the time to even THINK about another woman and how ‘acceptable’ her expression in clothing is? It’s actually absurd if you think about it. Without going into too much of a waffle, I’d just like to emphasise how horrified I would be if my husband was so interested in how a fellow modest blogger dressed that he went out of his way to address it to that woman, and on a public platform! FYI don’t be fooled either ladies by the positive tones that some of these guys may use and the fact that their intention is ALWAYS from a good place.. they’re just trying to save other ‘women from falling down the wrong path.’ I mean what is this God-like attitude that guys have when it comes to religion and the idea that they’re the saviour of the youth?? WHO ARE YOU KIDDING MATE? Another form of disguise that these men will use is giving back handed compliments to the woman that they’re ‘advising.’ As if we need affirmation from some random Muslim guy who is adamant that we need help from him and his five years of learning at some Islamic class in a mosque in East London somewhere! Sometimes I think bruh, why don’t you just go tell my dad if you really want to do things properly? Oh, and what about my husband? He’s older than you, knows me more than anyone else on this planet, yet you still think that I need validation or advice from some jumped up ex wannabe road-man NON MAHRAM Muslim guy that found a bit of fame from posing as the ‘cool sheikh for the youth’ online? Never mind the assumptions they have in regards to why we do whatever it is they feel so condemned to comment on. Or the assumptions that we haven’t been raised well enough clearly, otherwise they wouldn’t feel so compelled to comment. Or the assumptions that we’re ‘lost’ and we need guidance, or the assumption that we’ve never studied Islam ourselves, right??
UGHHHHH, It actually makes me sick.
Listen ladies, this post is for you more than anyone, especially the younger girls that watch me or read my posts. It’s so easy to get sucked into and believe in a ‘religious persona’ especially when it’s a guy who’s relatable, young and used to be a ‘bad man’ but changed recently. Don’t get sucked in, trust me most of these men are clueless when it comes to Islam. The way they’re addressing things even if it sounds positive, there will always be an underlying tone of misogyny and aggression or sense of power. It is not the attitude a genuine practising Muslim man should be carrying. Most of the time just the delivery of their message is just enforcing the idea to you the young female audience, that Muslim women are under the thumb of a man and that we constantly need validation from them.
Just know that you don’t. You have your own mind.
Think about things freely. Free from the way you’ve been taught, if the way you’ve been taught respects men more than women. Literally open your eyes to whats around you and question everything, our generation and our kids will be the ones to make the changes, we will be the ones to take control of our future without the subconscious manipulation that is constantly used by men of our religion, that comes from a sense of entitlement, power trips and religious abuse, that we as a community are constantly excusing and allowing.
DON’T ALLOW IT ANYMORE.